


Sacred Flame

by cyrene



Series: How to Lose Friends and Alienate People [9]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Zutara, mostly just pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyrene/pseuds/cyrene
Summary: Love is a sacred flame, kept alive in the heart, no matter how impossible the circumstances or small the flame may be.Or: Two losers, each pining over how they can't have the other.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: How to Lose Friends and Alienate People [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/265927
Comments: 7
Kudos: 155





	Sacred Flame

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all's Zutara month posts are really inspiring. Kudos to everyone participating!

Zuko dreams about Katara Atwater frequently.

He sees her in the moonlight, mostly, the silvery light reflecting in her brown curls and shining in her blue eyes. She looks powerful in the moonlight, like an ancient goddess come up to earth from the ocean, slumming it with Zuko for a while. In his dreams he leans down and – slowly, softly, both so he won’t frighten her away and to give her the opportunity to back out of it if she wants to – brushes his lips across hers. That song plays, the line, “This woman is my destiny...” on loop in his unconscious mind.

That part of the dream is real, sort of. It was Katara who had kissed him, though, in the glowing green lights of a lame teen club. It was Zuko who had pushed her away. He had been told all his life that he was incredibly stupid, but that was probably the first moment that he really, truly believed it. What kind of idiot would tell a girl like Katara, “No thanks! I’m good without the kissing!”

Zuko Sozin, of course. World-class moron.

He had his reasons, of course. At the time, she still thought his name was Lee, and didn’t know about his mob boss father or the things he had done, and almost done, to keep in the man’s good graces. It didn’t help that he had practically promised her father – a particularly intimidating intelligence officer – that he wouldn’t make a move as long as that was the case.

Now she knows, though. Now she looks at him, and she _sees him_ , and she calls him “Zuko” with her lips pursing on the vowels like kisses, and he has started to think that maybe, someday...

Zuko wakes up, alone. And, because Katara is too good for him, that is how he will remain.

*

They play PoTE every Saturday still. There’s a little tension there, at tenth level, when Katara is considering specializing in bloodbending. The Yon Rha incident.

Aang, who looks at her with openly starry eyes that nobody in their right mind could miss, is so grateful to her when she comes back _not_ a murderer, giving a lengthy speech about forgiveness that just doesn’t apply in this situation. Katara hasn’t forgiven Yon Rha. She’s decided that he won’t matter in her life any more. There’s a difference there that Aang doesn’t seem to understand.

She knows Zuko does, thought, and of being understood so deeply makes her belly feel warm and fluttery in ways she doesn’t like to think about. Because, even if he doesn’t _really_ have a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean he wants _her_.

Katara talks to her new therapist about it, eventually, and the woman tells Katara that she should tell her fears of abandonment to fuck off by taking what she wants. That she should, essentially, lay siege to his walls until they crumble, and conquer what’s behind them.

But the last time she did that he had (albeit gently) pushed her away. She can’t risk another rejection. Neither can their friendship, she thinks. Katara would rather have Zuko Sozin as only a friend than not have him in her life at all. That, she’s decided, would be too painful.

*

They’re all hanging out at the Phoenix Diner, with Uncle serving tea and Zuko stopping by the table when he’s not too busy. It’s a totally normal day in that regard. Katara is grateful for that, because it’s been a while since they had a totally normal day.

When Zuko gets off work, they all head down to the park, where Sokka uses his phone to film Aang doing skateboard tricks for Aang’s Youtube channel. (Aang actually has a near-viral following on Youtube.) Katara is, physically speaking, on standby, waiting with the first aid kit in her backpack for someone to get hurt. Emotionally speaking, she’s on high alert, because Zuko is standing right next to her running commentary under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear, so close their hands could touch if she were to just twitch hers out a little. There’s an infinite amount of space between them, though, so she doesn’t.

He doesn’t notice when Suki takes a photo of them with her phone, but she does. She finds it on Instagram later, right after a picture of Aang doing a trick, and it’s labeled, “The Peanut Gallery”. Fair enough, Katara supposes. The plaque-less tank is behind them; they’re both leaning up against its treads while Aang is atop it, mid-air, holding his skateboard in position to stick the landing. Zuko is looking at her with a wry half-smile on his face, and she’s smiling back at him.

*

They’re at the Atwater house. It’s Saturday. Zuko is reading “Howl” while they wait for Toph, patiently moving his blue screen from one page to the next as he absorbs the poetry of Allen Ginsberg. Katara is on the opposite couch, studying with her materials spread out around her, and he’s as acutely aware of her presence as he is of the fact that Blue Man Group is filtering through Sokka’s closed door.

“Is that your favorite bookmark or something?” Katara asks, and that’s when he realizes she’s been watching him too.

“What?” he asks.

“You always use that same blue bookmark. Is it your favorite or something?”

“No,” he says, and he can feel his face burning up. “It, uh, helps me read. Keeps the letters all in one place.”

“Oh, you’re dyslexic?” she asks, surprised. He practically squirms in his seat and nods. “There’s nothing wrong with that,” she assures him, “I just didn’t know. I never would have guessed, with how much you like to read.”

“Well,” he grumbles, “we can’t all be geniuses like you.”

Now it’s her turn to blush. “I’m sorry,” she says finally. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He wants to tell her that he’s uncomfortable all the damn time now, that every moment he spends not kissing her is a moment of agony, but he doesn’t. Because she’s got way too much to pity him for, and he doesn’t want to add to the pile.

He just shrugs and goes back to his book.

*

Everything is settling down, it seems. Maybe they’re not where they want to be, exactly, but everyone is content.

That’s why it’s all the more devastating when Azula shows up.

**Author's Note:**

> Fucking Azula. Shit, man. Where we gonna go from here?


End file.
